12 Comments

  1. Julie Glover
    18 February, 2013 @ 7:11 am

    These are great, Fabio! I haven’t watched the Oscars in years, but I did a film appreciation project in college on them. I’ve read and seen enough speeches to last me for a while.

    I really want to see an actor/actress thank their plastic surgeon. “Without whom I wouldn’t have this career…” A few tears while expressing gratitude would be a nice touch. Just sayin’. 😉

    Reply

    • Fabio Bueno
      18 February, 2013 @ 3:58 pm

      That would be awesome, Julie! “I’d like to thank my tanning salon technician, my personal trainer, my publicist…”
      The actors have my sympathy, though. It must be hard. They are talented artists, but looking young and beautiful is part of their jobs, so to speak.

      Reply

  2. Jennette Marie Powell
    18 February, 2013 @ 3:43 pm

    It’s been a long time since I’ve watched the Oscars, but I’ve been to the RITA Awards – which is the Romance Writers of America’s equivalent to the Oscars, only for books! There, it’s practically obligatory to thank one’s spouse, agent, and editor, in that order. I’m waiting for the day an indie-published author takes home a RITA and only has an editor s/he paid to thank! Oh yeah, maybe still the husband. 😀

    Reply

    • Fabio Bueno
      18 February, 2013 @ 3:52 pm

      LOL, good point, Jen! I’m still awaiting for an award–any award–recipient to declare “I did it all by myself!” (jokingly or not) 🙂 That would garner some tweets…

      Reply

  3. Jess Witkins
    18 February, 2013 @ 6:46 pm

    That’s why Emma Thompson’s acceptance speech, a letter she wrote as Jane Austen to the Sense and Sensibility producer, is still the best acceptance speech.

    And while you can’t kiss Halle Berry, you can jump up and down on the furniture ala Bernardo Bertolucci from Life is Beautiful. That’s a happy Oscar moment.

    And my Oscar pick: Officially – Lincoln. Personally – Silver Linings Playbook.

    Reply

    • Fabio Bueno
      19 February, 2013 @ 5:31 pm

      I remember her letter, but not what it said. I’ll look it up on YouTube later!
      The geek in me tells me it was Roberto Benigni who jumped, by the way.
      I loved, loved your post with the picks, Jess!

      Reply

  4. Amber
    19 February, 2013 @ 6:43 am

    “You MUST weigh the Oscar™ in your hand and stare at it for a couple of seconds”

    Hee!

    When I win my Oscar, Fabio, I am totally going to say, “I thought it’d be heavier.”

    (Thanks for the needed laugh this AM 🙂 )

    Reply

    • Fabio Bueno
      19 February, 2013 @ 5:29 pm

      Amber, you could also say, “Is that it? Meh.” 🙂
      If you win, please give me a shout out!

      Reply

  5. Gregory Carrico
    23 February, 2013 @ 6:36 am

    This is awesome, Fabio. I would personally rather be water-boarded again than sit through any Hollywood award shows, but I must say your take is spot-on. And very funny!
    Tip: Begin with how unexpected your win is, and the dive right into the poem you wrote and memorized for the occasion. Wrap it up with a tearful smile and tell Morgan Freeman you would have never risen to such dizzying heights of success without his inspiration, and then… Crap, I think I hear the orchestra.

    Reply

    • Fabio Bueno
      24 February, 2013 @ 12:45 pm

      :), Greg! I have mixed feelings about the Oscars–but I need to watch them. It’s tonight!

      Reply

  6. L E Carmichael
    14 March, 2013 @ 11:02 am

    The last line is my favorite. Yes, they’re actors, but they’re not fooling anyone!

    Reply

    • Fabio Bueno
      20 March, 2013 @ 8:46 am

      I know, right? Even non-actors practice their Oscar acceptance speeches. I already wrote mine 🙂

      Reply

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